If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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