I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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