i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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