You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
