This girl is more easily done than said...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
