wrigley field is MILF paradise
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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