i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
