I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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