I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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