I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You smell like stripper and shame
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
