We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
