He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
