i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize