somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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