you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
