well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize