she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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