Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
