His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
