Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
