Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
