This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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