We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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