nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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