Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
