benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
