nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize