I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He passed out mid-signature
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize