so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
