Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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