Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
