"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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