I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
