Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
