i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
