Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
