i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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