Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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