I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
