Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
