Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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