I molested 6 butterflies tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
well you can't waste a boner
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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