these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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