It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
