I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
