You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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