I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
