Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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