I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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