btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
