I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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