What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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