I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
