from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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