if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
