problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
