I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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