You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
