I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
