Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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