i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
