Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize