drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
