I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
