If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
