dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize