i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
