i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
