Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
how drunk are you?
Several
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
