So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think my moral compass just broke
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