STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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