i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They have beer where we have blood.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
