i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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