The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
