Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
