What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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