i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
