I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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