So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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