I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
