We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize