an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
