the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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