tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize