i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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