Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
