If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
