Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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