Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
