Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
