she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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